« Her Name | Main | Imagine That »

June 29, 2008

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

canocat

No she is not at fault, a woman, for whatever reason, can say No and it should be heard and listened to. To go ahead and push a woman after she says no is an unkind and unfeeling thing to do as a rule. Pushing to see how much a man can get even if he does not get all of what he wants is wrong, No is NO. A woman(or man) should be able to say No and it hold. A person can be hurt emotionally, mentally and physically by someone "pushing" to see what they can still get the person to do. Of course it also means the man has some honor and respect within him to hear and care that a woman says No. But, No is No and she should not have to wrestle to get thru the evening or out the door. It is hard for a man to realize the feeling he can leave if he does not heed the word No. Anyone should be able to say No and it be heard.

Aeryn

No means no. It doesn't matter what the situation is because that will NEVER change the fact that 'NO MEANS NO'.

momma_dani

No means no. It doesn't matter the situation, whether or not there is a past between them, or even if they were physically together before. She says no, and repeatedly, then it means no!

Auburn

OK you big goober, we haven't seen you in a month and this is what we get? We need to know what you're going through. Apparently you haven't placed the computer close enough to yourself in the NEW house. Move it closer...
and having been through a rape exactly 12 years, one month and 3 days ago......NO ALWAYS FUCKING MEANS NO NO NO NO, end of story, nomatter what "she" has done, is doing, or will be doing- if the answer is NO, it should be clear....

Annegirrl

It's been a while since I've had time to sit and read blogs, but I'm back to read yours. I'm sorry to hear about what you've been through.

I agree with everyone else too. No means NO! He is at fault for not listening.

doug

When a woman says no she means no. The man is a neanderfuck who needs to go back to preschool to learn the meaning of no. The man is in the wrong.

Ray

No means just that. He was wrong and I would like to cut off the assholes balls. Please tell me where he is and I will take care of it for you. You will always be my friend and I will protect you as long as I live.

Shauna

You know my take on this, but I feel compelled to join the resounding chorus -- NO MEANS "NO!", dammit! Non, nein, nyet... English keeps it simple with TWO letters. HOW uncomplicated is THAT?!?!? Factor in a firm tone and direct look or perhaps a reaching-anxiety level manner and tone, or EVEN a subdued and clipped, "no." It is ALL the same. Even people who like to use a more rough, "Don't... Stop... Don't stop" approach have "safe words," so short of establishing an agreed upon word that is an alternative for "NO," then guess what??? The original, basic, commonly applied and universally understood STILL APPLIES!!! (This brings to mind the guy's reference above that is so appropriate -- but Hey, when it fits, IT FITS.) Ignoring a "No" or a "No, thank you" or a "No, I'd rather not" or a "No, we better not" or just a "NO, I don't want to" etc etc is wrong whether it's a first date, a 21st date, an ex, a f**k-buddy, a frat boy, a high-dollar hottie that 1/2 a dozen other women would just looooooove to be doing (according to himself, most likely) or your own husband. Being listened to and respected is right; saying "No" -- and for that matter, in this case, repeating it with evident feeling -- is YOUR or ANY person's right. Ummm... Ray, I have the scissors, or this really nifty Calphalon knife that is SO quick and sharp. *ahem*
Did I mention that "No" means "No."?!?

Nola

Well, thank you to one and all for your comments and the validation. Things like this can get complicated in a number of ways (that don't even bear airing out in public), but the bottom line is... no.

*sighs*

The comments to this entry are closed.