Wow... I can't believe it's been so long since I posted here. (...) Well, actually, yeah, I can. Blogging is a fun and all outlet-ish and all, but it certainly comes with a substantial downside.
I write about my life. Funny thing about life (anyone's life, not just mine)... it isn't lived in a bubble. It necessitates interacting with/observing other people living THEIR lives. Try writing about one and not the other. Go ahead. I'll wait.
Way harder than it sounds.
Anyhoo. In writing about the people one encounters, one can be honest/funny (and end up with villagers and torches on one's doorstep. Not kidding. Had it happen. Okay, substitute 'drunken, batshit crazy neighbors' for 'villagers' and 'pocket knives and beer cans' for 'torches', but still... same shit), or one can be nice/PC (and keep everyone calm and unoffended, but end up with the reading material being as interesting as the ingredients on a bag of oatmeal, not to mention lacking in anything resembling accuracy or depth. Kind of like a politician...). To do the former, one has to attempt, if one desires to not have vital organs perforated beyond the manufacturer's recommendations, to remain anonymous. Sounds simple, right? Just leave out names and such. But the reality is that it goes far beyond names. Where you live (I mean the area, not your home address), names of local events/shopping centers/restaurants... All that has to be omitted or altered. While it's a pain in the ass, that isn't even my issue with the process... my issue is that, before long, any feeling of it being real, of it being an open and honest expression of MY experiences, has been twisted into non-existence. In an effort to BE honest and real, I've had to be the opposite. How fucked up is that? The alternative, though, is far worse... don't change data to protect anonymity, but instead change content to avoid pissing anyone off. God forbid someone recognize a reference to their hideous choice of shoes (even if they aren't mentioned by name)... it can suddenly turn into some High Noon moment. Seriously.
I want to blog again. Nola has been away far too long. But this issue plagues me, and I haven't yet figured out what to do. While I went through a short period of being more open about the girl behind the Nola curtain, so to speak (sharing my blog with old friends who'd never known about it, etc.), it's still largely been my little secret. Not out of shame (trust me, I keep my shame issues reserved for far more colorful things), but just... oh, a variety of factors (villagers... torches...). So now the question is not only one of 'how do I write and stay true to myself/life, but also avoid finding boiling bunnies?', but do I do so as Nola, my blogging identity of 12 years, or as a totally new incarnation?
I think I just made my head hurt.